Yanira D. Kivi 
Because the absurdities of modern life are becoming more and more irreversibly something you would see in the Portlandia sketch, there is now an app that lets you attend a concert from the comfort of your sofa.
It’s called VR Melody. Dubbed the world’s first virtual reality music platform, a somewhat oxymoronic term that only really makes sense in the context of 21st Technocapitalism of the Century – it just became available for the Oculus GO and the Samsung Gear VR. (If you don’t have one – they’re actually surprisingly affordable – you may want to check it out in the near future as an equally dainty iPhone app.)
We’re sure you’re just full of questions. So we’ll do our best to imagine what it is and answer it below …
What does virtual reality music sound like? Because isn’t music something you hear – and correct me if I’m wrong -?
Yes, you hear music. But you too see music, like, at concerts and all that. And that’s what Melody VR does. It allows you to enjoy a real live concert or a 360-degree studio session from your home. And if you don’t have the time or the inclination to watch it all, you can purchase the concert by individual song, just like iTunes.
Where will I be in said concert or studio session? First row? Last row? Behind the scenes ?
The platform lets you choose from multiple ‘jump points’ – so you can switch between being in the crowd, up close, in the front row, or on stage. Meaning: You can stand by KISS’s side as confetti rains down on your nonexistent virtual head, or snag a coveted front row seat in the London Symphony Orchestra.
These are therefore two of these performances available. What else is available at the moment?
2 Chainz at the Life Is Beautiful festival. WHO at Wembley Arena. Singrid in an exclusive session. Shows by Kygo, The Chainsmokers, Imagine Dragons …
Sorry, I’m not really into those last three. Will there be more options soon?
Yes sir. As the only licensed VR music platform, they have entered into industry-wide partnerships for more such performances in the future. In the near future, they will also make it possible to broadcast live concerts and buy “virtual tickets†for sold-out shows.
Wait, so you’re saying that by next year it might be possible to dance more or less on stage with Beyoncé at Coachella?
This is the idea.
But aren’t live concerts one of the last refuges for a true communion that remains to us in modern society? And isn’t presenting shows the backbone of a music industry ravaged by exploitative streaming platforms like iTunes and Spotify?
Man. This Q&A has really taken a turn.
